Things to Do in a Relationship If You Feel Undervalued

Last updated: Sep 25, 2022
Things to Do in a Relationship If You Feel Undervalued

Feeling unappreciated will make a effect your self-esteem and even create confllicts in your relationship. In this article, you will learn what you need to do when you feel undervalued in the relationship and some suggestions to help you out of this situation.

Feeling undervalued in a relationship can be really painful because we all want to believe that our partner appreciates us and values everything, we do to keep the relationship going.

Perhaps you feel entirely taken for granted or that your significant other simply doesn't appreciate your efforts. Whatever the situation, if you feel undervalued in a relationship, there are things you can do.

When do you feel underappreciated?

It is helpful to know exactly what being undervalued by your partner means before deciding what to do about it.

A straightforward explanation is that when you feel underappreciated, you feel taken for granted and that your partner doesn't seem to notice when you do lovely things for them. This can eventually make you feel resentful.

Unappreciated also refers to the experience of believing that your value or contributions to the relationship are not sufficiently acknowledged.

You may feel your partner does not value you because they spend all of their free time with friends, you may feel this way because you do all the chores but seldom ever receive even a "thank you," or you may feel this way because you put in all the effort to maintain the relationship.

a upset woman

Why is feeling undervalued not acceptable?

It is not acceptable to feel undervalued in a relationship because feeling valued is crucial. Being underappreciated causes nothing but agony, and because it comes from your significant other and not from a complete stranger or friend, it is more severe than other sorts of pain.

Feeling undervalued in a relationship eventually causes great suffering, and you could start to distance yourself from your partner or significant other. This is due to the fact that it is really upsetting when someone you have spent a lot of time and effort on does not appreciate it. In a relationship, not feeling appreciated can even make you feel as though your partner has betrayed you.

Being underappreciated might also make you think you've done something wrong when you haven't, which is another reason why it's not acceptable. You have every right to feel underappreciated when your spouse or partner doesn't acknowledge your efforts but learning coping mechanisms will help you get past the hurt.

woman looking at the window

Eight signs that a partner doesn't value you

It can be useful to comprehend some of the symptoms of feeling undervalued in a relationship if you feel that you are not being acknowledged. There is a good likelihood that your feelings are justified if you start to observe some of the following:

Sign No.1: No matter what you do, your partner never says thank you. 

This indicates that your partner is so accustomed to receiving nice treatment from you that they no longer take the time to appreciate anything you do. Simply put, your spouse or significant other takes your behavior for granted and expects it.

Sign No.2: Your partner never seeks your opinion while making important choices, which may be an indication that they don't value your opinion or your contribution to their lives.

Sign No.3: When your partner makes decisions without consulting you, it usually means they don't value you. 

This is because it implies, they made decisions without taking into account your schedule or preferences, assuming you would approve of them.

Sign No.4: You might believe that you are handling the majority of the family or relationship's obligations or performing more chores than is reasonable.

Sign No.5: Even though holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries are important to you, you feel hurt because your partner doesn't recognize them. Even the smallest romantic gestures from your partner won't make you feel cherished or joyful.

Sign No.6: You observe that your partner rarely inquiries about your day or expresses no interest in learning about it. 

Your partner obviously doesn't take into account your feelings. For instance, he or she might purposely do something that offends you or just overall treat you badly.

Sign No.7: Your partner doesn't discuss his or her time management with you.

For instance, your partner frequently leaves you in the dark about their plans with friends or their whereabouts when they go out. It could begin to feel as though your lover doesn't care whether you two spend time together or not. It is obvious that your partner doesn't care to involve you in their plans or seem to value time spent together, it can quickly make you feel unloved if they come and go as they want but you don't.

Sign No.8: If you are observing any of the aforementioned symptoms, your spouse or partner is probably making you feel undervalued.

Being weary of giving and receiving little in return is another crucial indicator of feeling undervalued in a relationship. You give your spouse your all, put time and effort into the relationship, and go above and beyond to ensure their happiness, yet none of it is returned.


How does receiving appreciation impact us or our relationship?

Since without it, a relationship would suffer and you might start to believe that nothing you do will please your spouse or significant other, appreciation is crucial in relationships. You might also think that nothing you do will satisfy your mate.

Additional justifications for the significance of appreciation are given below:

You can think your partner isn't paying attention to you when you feel unappreciated in a relationship. Feeling important to your partner is a necessary component of a healthy relationship. You may start to worry that you are the only one attempting to save your marriage or that your wife wouldn't even miss you if you were gone if you feel like "My wife doesn't appreciate me."

Resentment against your partner might result from a lack of appreciation, which is unhealthy for a relationship. There are other factors that make admiration crucial in a relationship. Everyone wants to feel supported and loved by their spouse and being appreciated by our partners lets us know that they value and care about us. Additionally, feeling valued gives you a sense of security and safety within the partnership.

According to the research, admiration is crucial for a happy marriage. For instance, a 2020 study published in Current Psychology discovered that better levels of marital happiness were both related to feeling valued in a marriage and expressing appreciation. The study's authors stated that this result is consistent with those of other research that have discovered the value of appreciation for happy marriages. They came to the conclusion that because appreciation serves as a constant reminder that a partner values them, it promotes marital pleasure.

It is clear from the research's findings that appreciation is crucial in a relationship. Having the impression that your partner finds you useful and important can increase your level of contentment in the relationship.

couple dating and flirting in restaurant

How do you handle when you feel undervalued in a relationship?

Given the significance of appreciation for marital or relationship fulfillment, if you feel underappreciated in your marriage, you should take action to deal with the situation or make it better.

Sometimes, just talking things out with your spouse or significant other is enough to make things better. Maybe they don't understand how you're feeling, or maybe they've been dealing with a stressor or circumstance that has kept them from expressing how much they value you.

You might need to take other measures to deal with feeling underappreciated in a relationship if talking about the issue is insufficient.