In a casual relationship, open communication can help people avoid a lot of discomfort, hurt feelings, or bitterness
Although communication in casual relationships might feel like a minefield, it's safe to assume that most people are aware that being distant in a relationship—regardless of how "undefined"—is not cool. Fortunately, communication skills aren't just for married people and committed relationships. If you don't want the early-morning "u up?"text, there are ways to stop receiving it (and, of course, set rules around the booty-call if it is your thing).
"I believe that all relationships, not just exclusive or committed ones, benefit from open communication. Although some may disagree, I believe it to be more crucial in casual relationships"Insight to Action LLC's owner and licensed psychologist, Dr. Tanisha M.Ranger, says Bustle. Although adopting a "go with the flow" attitude might seem to be the easiest route, it's not. You must be confident that you are in agreement.
"Lack of communication is the main error I notice in casual relationships. Most of the time, neither partner is being honest out of fear of offending the other person or not obtaining what they ultimately desire "Relationship and dating counselor Monica Parikh says Bustle. Talking about these challenging subjects with casual partners can be less stressful if you have a strong relationship with yourself and are willing to having clear conversations with friends and family.
In a casual relationship, open communication can help people avoid a lot of discomfort, hurt feelings, or bitterness, according to Dr. Ranger. And it's much simpler than it appears.
Here are 10 communication strategies that experts say are effective in even casual relationships
1. Clearly state your needs
If you want something casual right away,you should be upfront and honest about that. The same should be expected of your partner as well.
"Be very explicit about your desires and disapprovals. Inform the person of your position on the matter. For instance, you might say, "I'm interested in dating, but I don't want to be exclusive right now. Does that meet your needs?" says Dr. Ranger.
On the other hand, you should let people know if you don't want to be casual forever. There will be fewer surprises (and potential hurt) if you tell your spouse up front.
2.Share even the simplest of your expectations
The difficulty of navigating all those unspoken dating rules is one of the worst aspects of dating. But by establishing your own boundaries in your own casual relationship, you may avoid them. Open a dialogue and discuss your needs and deal-breakers, advises MacLeod. Consider the importance of time, for instance.
Mac Leod advises, "[Tell them] they need you to text them if you can't make it or are going to be late."whichever suits you. Remember that when you discuss your requirements, it's not an ultimatum but rather a conversation. Without open communication between the two of you, it's impossible to determine these criteria; otherwise, it's just a guessing game.
3. Employ "I" statements.
"I" statements are the high light of each communication relationship; they are an oldie but a goodie. When discussing difficult subjects with your partner, Heidi McBain, MA, a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT), advises using "I" statements to avoid making them defensive. Instead of using words that unintentionally blame your partner, use statements like "I feel frustrated" or "I feel hurt."
Additionally, refrain from criticizing your partner's actions in a critical manner. According to Dr. Wal fish, saying things like "you always" or "you never" to your spouse makes them more defensive and raises their guard. Additionally, changing your tone from accusatory to personal will help you maintain a relaxed atmosphere in your relationship.
4. Ask the Correct Questions
It all comes down to how you talk to your spouse if you want to get to know them better or have more fascinating talks.Try the tiny step of altering how you ask them about their day if you want to freshen up your small conversation.
"Act as a "detective." Poseinquiries to the other person that call for a longer response. To put itanother way, avoid asking someone, "How are you?" Most likely, you'llhear "Fine" as an immediate response. Pose challenging inquiries,such as, "Tell me how you've been spending your time," "says Dr.Walfish. It can be a little less awkward to ask, "How was your week?"if you don't see each other as frequently as you would with a committed partner.
5. Make It A Habit To Express Your Thoughts
Along with questions, you can foster thedevelopment of a casual relationship by offering your own ideas. Share yourpersonal struggles, advises Dr. Walfish.
It's not "too much" for a casualrelationship, despite your concerns. "I'm not advocating that you vent toyour [partner] or utilize them as a dumpster or receptacle. Never dump. Stayhuman. We all experience difficulty from time to time. The other person feelscomfortable sharing and being vulnerable with you when you do so "says Dr.Walfish. Aim to always be sincere.
6. Be proactive in discussing sex
Nearly more than any other type of connection, sexual ones require honest and open communication.
In order to establish your expectations forsex in a casual relationship, Parikh advises following three stages."Recognize your emotions (e.g., "I'm nervous"). Declare a need(e.g., "I need to talk to you"). In one or two phrases, express yourtruth: "I don't want to have sex without protection." then decide ona penalty. ('If you're unwilling to wear a condom, I cannot engage in sexualactivity with you')... [this skill] will protect you both physically andemotionally "Parikh explains. Although you don't have to adhere to theserules exactly, it's important to engage in safe and open communication duringsex.
