Dating Someone Who Is Separated but Not Divorced: What You Need to Know

Last updated: Nov 28, 2022
Dating Someone Who Is Separated but Not Divorced: What You Need to Know

If your partner is separated but not divorced and you're thinking about starting a relationship with them, it's important to know the legal implications of doing so. The following article explores some of the legal ramifications that can arise if you date

What is Separated but Not Divorced?

For those divorced people who always have rules of thumb: don't establish relationships with people who have separated but haven't divorced. If they are divorced, they must be divorced for at least two years before they can become lovers.

So it is okay to have a date during the separation. It is acceptable dating someone who is separated but not divorced as long as you are living apart and following all applicable laws. However, dating during divorce or separation may have an emotional impact, affecting your entire family's quality of life for the next few years.

No matter how long the couple has been apart, as long as they are still legally married, it would be a separation but not yet divorce. If you want to date someone separated from his/her partner, there are several things to consider.

In love with a separated but not divorced man.jpeg

Pros and Cons of Dating Someone Separated But Not Divorced

  • Dating a separated but not divorced man can be worth it.
  • If you met a great guy, but he's separated, not divorced. You'll probably think about what that means for your relationship. Will he commit? What benefits or challenges do you need to know about? Will his children become a blocked road for your date? Don't worry. We are here to answer all your questions about dating a separated but not divorced man, so your mind is at ease now. We will also introduce the benefit and risks when dating a separated but not divorced man.

    You should follow your own heart if you have a feeling for him; dating a separated but not divorced man can be worth it.

    He's probably more mature than other guys who have never married. Through his experiences, he became a different person. He has more experience than anyone who has never married. Because he is more mature, he may have a better relationship with his next partner.

    mature guy

    You may be disappointed because your man plans to spend his life with someone else. However, those dreams become a memory for him. If you fall in love with each other, the life he and you plan will be what he wants. He knows how it feels in a long-term relationship. Maintaining a long-term relationship is arduous work. He has proved that he is willing to promise someone. In some ways, this may be better than dating someone with only a short relationship. 

    He may have learned some lessons from his last relationship. Instead of thinking that separation or divorce is a bad thing, consider it as a learning experience. Yes, there was something wrong with his previous relationship. This experience can help him become a better partner for you.

    Talk to him about why his marriage has come to an end. You can ask, "What do you think caused your divorce?" Or "What caused you and your predecessor to split up?" This will let you know what he may do in the future.

    You might be interested in this article: The Top 5 Best Single And Divorced Dating Apps That You Should Download

  • Know the risks of when dating someone who is separated but not divorced
  • There is a risk for you to date someone who's separated but not divorced. In the lack of legal separation, dating can bring the following risks if he seeks a formal divorce.

    Unfortunately, in some states, his/her spouse can sue you for the alienation of affection or blame you for adultery as a basis for divorce. Married dating will influence custody decisions. As a parent, his spouse has the right to know who their children are with.

    If his spouse or partner pays extra for living in another home, their ability to contribute to family income may become a problem.

    In some states, dating can also become a problem in child support and alimony cases. The court reviews the income and expenditure of each spouse's children and spousal maintenance. The judge may ask about the dating relationship to see if it will affect your financial situation.

    What to Do if You're Dating Someone Separated but Not Divorced

    It's a tricky problem when dating a separated but not divorced person. On the one hand, it is natural to want to find a new life partner to spend life with and move on from the failed marriage. On the other hand, if he's still legally married, some ties with his spouse still exist.

    Follow these tips to help you find ways to date people who are separated but not divorced and how to get the most out of dating if you decide to take risks.

    dating someone who is separated but not divorced

    First, ask if he's ready to move on.

    Ask him if he's ready to move on to a new relationship. If your date is still hoping to get back together with his/her partner or still dealing with a lot of sadness and pain surrounding the separation, you can see that he is not ready for a trial separation.

    Before he can move on to develop a new relationship, he needs to let the old ones go. Sometimes, letting go takes longer than expected. Let it run naturally as the times go by. Give him plenty of time before he gets ready with you.

    Secondly, take practical steps to divorce.

    Divorce may take a long time to finalize. However, if his spouse is dragging his feet over in any way, it may be a sign that he's not ready to let go.

    It's a huge step, and it is natural to feel some hesitation. On the other hand, if he's looking for reasons to put things off, it may be that he's looking for excuses to put them off. 

    If he wants to move on and date again, he must be ready to end his marriage. This is a difficult decision, but if he's sure that reconciliation is impossible, this is the only logical step. Then, you can start dating while he's legally separated.

    Thirdly, beware of the rebound.

    Please note that rebound relationships are a real danger. Be aware if he's on the rebound, he's more likely to make a bad decision or fall into a relationship for all the wrong reasons. Feeling lonely and vulnerable after a divorce is normal, but this is not a reason to rush into a new relationship. This is a good reason not to.

    If he's looking for someone to fill the gap left by his ex, he will not make the best choice. If he genuinely likes you, it doesn't matter to start dating him. But if he's looking for a way to relieve loneliness, it shows that he has not done the healing process yet. We suggest not continuing the relationship.


    Separation may be a chance for self-reflection and renewal of emotion.

    Keeping in mind that dating someone who is separated but not divorced is a personal choice, if you feel torn about it, you're probably not comfortable enough to explore your alternatives yet, or perhaps you need some relationship counseling first.

    You have the right to live the life you choose. Remember that your choices have an impact and that any mistakes you make along the way are wholly your fault.