Although no two people with anxiety are the same, there are ten suggestions you can keep in mind to help you be a more understanding partner while dating someone who has anxiety or to be ready for the possibility of dating someone with anxiety.
Anxiety, especially when it comes to dating, makes everything much more difficult than it needs to be. I struggle with generalized anxiety and pretty severe social anxiety, which has been difficult for me and for the more social and outgoing people I've dated in the past.
Thankfully, I'm in a relationship right now with someone who is understanding, encouraging, and helps me feel safe. However, I wasn't always so fortunate, and I know that many anxiety sufferers out there have gone through or are going through similar problems. I can speak for those who are similar to me when Ianxiety say that we would like for the people we dated to be more understanding of us and our mental health in order to create better, more lasting relationships.
Although no two people with anxiety are the same, there are ten suggestions you can keep in mind to help you be a more understanding partner while dating someone who has anxiety or to be ready for the possibility of dating someone with anxiety in the future.
People that are worried tend to overthink and see the worst in everything, which is only normal. Because of this, it's always welcomed when you frequently express your satisfaction with them and with the connection. This might be achieved by sending them a text message every few days to let them know how much you cherish and appreciate them, or by doing anything else that makes them feel important and secure in their connection with you. Don't get irritated if they ask for assurance "too frequently," though. That will just increase their concern.
Engaging in conflict with a superior or coworker. seeing a specific individual. text that begins, "We need to talk." refusing to answer the phone when they call. These are all instances of things that might increase someone's anxiety and drive them to react in a certain manner, even though everyone has various triggers. Learn what actions or circumstances set off your partner and try to keep their exposure to those things to a minimum.
If you want to know more about annxiety-provoking factors, please read this article: What Triggers Anxiety? 11 Causes That May Surprise You.
Everyone has their own definition of a "thoughtful date," of course. But when you're organizing a day or evening out with them, keep those triggers in mind. In a nightclub, for instance, or on a quadruple date with your coworkers who are unaware of their social anxiety, they probably don't want to be alone. It will be easier to organize activities that you and they will both love if you take into account their preferences and what stresses them out.
Though it may be lurking beneath the surface, anxiety attacks always seem to come and go. The virtue of patience is real. Ride the waves calmly with them, knowing that things will improve and return to "normal" as soon as possible.
It's entirely up to them if they need some alone time; it has nothing to do with you. That's because people who struggle with anxiety frequently prioritize self-care and introversion while navigating relationships. Give them the room they request if they ask for it. There are no questions. Sometimes all they need to refuel is 20 minutes or a whole day by themselves. Regardless of how long it takes, after they've had a chance to recover, you can be sure they'll be back and feeling much better than before.
It's unlikely that they wanting to know what you're doing has anything to do with them being overbearing. Especially if you don't live together, it's quite soothing to know that you're secure and when you'll be back. Try to willingly provide them with information about your plans rather than having them beg for it. You wouldn't believe how much small acts of kindness like these can serve to calm you down.
A person who doesn't feel anxious might not give a delayed reaction much thought. Anxious people, though, will usually assume the worst. They can believe you are ignoring them if you really aren't, or that you're upset with them, angry, or up to no good. Send them a quick text saying, "I'm busy right now, but I'll call/text you/respond to this as soon as I can," if you're out or busy, which is very acceptable. That way, they'll know everything is okay and that you're alright, and they'll know when to expect a response from you.
Never assume your partner has what they need or want. Ask them instead what you can do to help (if anything at all), and then pay close attention to what they say. You cannot read minds. You will better understand one another and your needs as individuals and as a couple if you can communicate openly.
The last thing an anxious person wants is for you to dismiss their fear as unimportant. Their anxiety is significant and genuine to them. Never dismiss their panic attacks, overthinking tendencies, or nervous behaviors, and never say that what they're going through is "all in their head."
Like dating anybody else, dating someone with anxiety requires consideration for their emotional and mental health in order to build a stronger bond with them. It's up to you to be kind, truthful, and open about it if you feel they're asking too much of you or you can't offer them what they need. While being careful not to suggest that they are "too much" to be with, accept that you are simply not the proper match for them.
Whether it's you or someone else, there is someone out there who will love them in the way they require love. If it's not you, do yourselves a favor and let go so that you can both find what you're looking for in a love relationship.
Related article: Top 10 Signs That a Relationship Is Healthy.
